LIFE APPENS: A RELATIONSHIP

There are apps out there for pretty much everything, but knowing what they are and how and when to use them can be overwhelming. In this series we will take you step-by-step through different life situations using various applications. This is Life Appens: A Relationship.

LifeAppens

MEETING SOMEONE:

We all love pornography, but sometimes we have to get out there and actually touch other people. Fortunately, there are tons of dating and meeting apps to choose from. The most popular one these days (for straight people) is Tinder. It is very simple to use, and lets you look at photos of possible matches in your area and then tells you how far away they are from you. Just swipe “yes” or “no” on the image and if you swipe “yes” and they do as well then you will be able to message each other and make plans to meet up.

So, guys, you have plans to meet up with this hot chick you met on Tinder, but the area you are meeting up in is one you aren’t very familiar with and you’re supposed to pick the restaurant. No problem. You have plenty of app options here, including one of my favorites, Open Table. Just enter a location, a time and the number of people and you will get a list of options. You may read reviews, check out the menu and confirm a reservation all from within the app.

DRINKS:

Dinner goes well and you want to continue the conversation over some drinks. Well, hop onto your Yelp app and get bar suggestions and directions based on your location.

GOING BACK TO YOUR PLACE:

Drinks went well and neither of you want the night to end, so you suggest heading back to your place. But at this point, you have had too much to drink and can’t drive. Don’t worry, I got you covered!

First, head back to your car and use the Car Locator app to save your car’s location. Now, you can use the locator service to find it again tomorrow if all that drinking leads to some memory issues. Then tap open your Uber app and request a car to pick you up to drive you home.

BACK AT YOUR PLACE:

So, you’re both sitting on your couch and you want to set the mood and watch some of your favorite pornography together. Of course, you turn the lights down and maybe even change the colors of a few of them using the Philips Hue app (as long as you have the special light bulbs that work with the app).

Next you connect your phone wirelessly to your Bluetooth speaker and get some tunes going. Open up Songza select a mood/activity and let them rock out one of their many unique playlists for you.

HEADING INTO THE BEDROOM:

No woman can resist your mood lighting and smooth tunes, so one thing leads to another. You go from talking on the couch to making out on the couch to getting to second base on the couch to falling over each other into the bedroom as you make it to third base and start to head for home. You probably don’t need an app for this part, but if you want some suggestions, the iKamasutra Sex Positions app can help.

• MEETING SOMEONE: Match.com, POF(Plenty Of Fish), Grindr (gay, bi), OkCupid Dating
• THE DATE/DRINKS: UrbanSpoon, Google Maps, Zagat
• GOING BACK TO YOUR PLACE: Lyft, Easy Taxi
• BACK AT YOUR PLACE/MUSIC: Rdio, Spotify, Grooveshark, Google Play Music, Pandora
• THE RELATIONSHIP: Couple, Between

RELATIONSHIP:

So, now you are in a relationship and things are going well. You are going through all the Kamasutra positions – one per night – and she is even letting you take some very naughty pics and vids of her. But now you have these items on your phone right there next to your vacation pics from Mexico and those cute videos of your dog barking at the vacuum cleaner that you like to show your friends. Again, I got you covered. KeepSafe is a photo gallery app that lets you put selected pics and vids into a special folder that you can lock with a PIN. You can even disguise the secret folder to look like another application so that it isn’t obvious that it’s a secret place.

That’s great for the naughty side of the relationship. And for the non-naughty side you can use the Avocado app. No, this app doesn’t teach you how to make the best guacamole (although, there are apps for that as well), but rather it is a private and secure app that lets couples stay connected, send messages back and forth, share a calendar and lists, doodle on photos and share media.

THE BREAKUP:

Okay, so nothing lasts forever. At this point she has hijacked your tablet and your Netflix app and made you watch her favorite movie at least 50 times – and you didn’t even like it the first time. You are both using the common list feature in Avocado to list things that annoy you about the other person and the iKamasutra app has only been opened once in the last six months – and that only happened when she accused you of cheating, grabbed your phone and started tapping on every app looking for another KeepSafe secret folder where she was sure you were hiding photos of that cute friend of yours from work, or as she called her, “that little slut!”

POST BREAKUP:

Sit on your couch, grab some chips to dip in the delicious guacamole you made using the All The Cooks app, Netflix YOUR favorite movie, open up that Tinder app and start swiping “yes” and “no” again. When all else fails, go back to your friend pornography by visiting us at RabbitsReviews. We’ll never steer you wrong.

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